I’m not sure if being alone and in complete isolation makes for a better training day of silence, or if interacting with humans is better. You’d think that interacting with humans while not being able to talk would be a tougher assignment. But not for me. I love observing the sociological nuances of others being forced to communicate with someone who doesn’t. (AKA I like making people feel awkward!)
Being all by myself – alone – and not talking, I somehow find far more taxing on my soul. It’s strange, because it’s not like I talk to myself all the time when I’m by myself. (“Who does that?” “I don’t know Drew, who does that?”) And, I absolutely love being by myself! Others tell me the same thing. They really like it when I’m by myself as well.
Maybe it’s knowing that I’m supposed to use these days of silence to get below introspection? As in, follow it. Work it. Own it. Do it. You might find this hard to believe but I’m just narcissistic enough to be pretty darn good at introspection. As a matter of fact, I’ve become so good at it that I just keep doing it. Introspect! Introspect! Introspect! However, you know what I don’t do so well? I don’t do BELOW introspection so well. Getting below thought, requires action. And acting on the things I’ve introspected on would require that I actually work at the stuff I’ve figured out about myself. And “ain’t nobody got time for that!”
Spending too much time with Drew is one thing. Putting steps into place in order to actually change the things that Drew has discovered about Drew – that’s cray cray!
This week I was completely isolated during my day of silence. Not even my dawg was with me. I know I’ve discussed this before, but it still feels selfish when I sleep in and then lay in bed introspecting. I mean that’s the epitome of laziness, isn’t it? I remember doing it a lot, even as a kid/teen. After yelling at me to “get up and get moving” my mom would eventually come into my bedroom and start stripping the bed – with me still in the sheets. She’d make some excuse about it being laundry day. (My mom seemed to do laundry EVERY day.) I’d give anything for my mom just to yell out, “get up and get moving” one more time. It’s been 27 years since she died. As I write this, I’m sitting in what was her favorite spot at the cottage – on the sunporch looking out on the lake. (GEEEZ – now there’s this weird substance leaking from my eyes. UGH! Why does it feel so pathetic to miss my mommy?)
I decided that chopping wood would help me feel more productive and more manly. Later, I read by the fireplace then watched some old Mary Tyler Moore & Flip Wilson shows on DVD. Anything but stay below introspection.
Spiritual Benefit During My 7th Day Of Silence = 3.7/10
“There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself: the tadpole into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into a whole one.That is spirituality.” – Ellen Bass