This week’s day of silence was pure crap!
The cottage crapper flows into a septic tank, which announced quite profoundly that it desperately needed a visit from the local septic sucker outer dude. Apparently, the tank was not working the way it was “designed” to work. (Class is in session kids. Good luck following this illustration!)
There are two tanks side by side and what’s SUPPOSED to happen is, that in order for my daily crap to be processed effectively, one tank has to be full first. Then, as the REALLY crappy stuff settles, the lighter stuff overflows into the next tank. Then, when that tank of lighter crappy stuff gets full, it leaches out into the earth. The earth then gets fertilized by the liquid and also serves as a filter so that any leftover nasties don’t leach into the rest of the world. EVENTUALLY, a few times in a lifetime of crap, the services of the septic sucker outer dude are required in order to empty out the first tank of really heavy crap.
However, over the decades, the tree roots have closed in on my leaching pipes, blocking off the natural flow. Which means that the second tank backs up into the first tank. Which means that all my big crap from the first tank gets pushed up to the surface and fills BOTH tanks.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve only had to call the local septic sucker outer dude once – maybe twice. Recently though, because of “deep rooted issues”, the crapper’s original “design” has broken down. Instead of processing daily crap naturally, my crap has built up – in both tanks. Every once in awhile I get a whiff that something’s wrong. But I really only pay attention if the wind is blowing directly in my face or if I happen to take a stroll near the source of the odour. And because it’s such a major pain to dig up the dirt and pry the lid off my tank every time I get a whiff that something is wrong, it just becomes easier to ignore the source of the problem. Besides, do you know how much a septic sucker outer person (therapist) costs these days??
This week “it” finally happened! Having ignored the signs for too long, I actually saw physical manifestations that forced me to deal with my own crap! I dug into my own dirt, tore open the lid to my tank and began dealing with my own crap!
S-eptic
H-as
I-ndeed
T-anked
If there are any ladies still reading… Amidst all of the crap I was dealing with during my day of silence, I did meet two individuals who brought a huge smile to my face!
Spiritual Benefit During My 17th Day Of Silence = Number Two/10
(Okay, it was actually 3.9 but c’mon!! Number two? That’s HILARIOUS!)
Hilarious but also so gross.
Not sure why I decided to keep reading.